Saturday, January 31, 2009

Another world

Its been a hectic week!

WJ's health had shown slight improvementfor the past 1 week.Her mom came down to Jakarta to nursed her.
We had children from the orphanage to read 'Yasin' at home on Friday night.
There's one night that she wont able to sleep and doctor came and giver her Valium.Soon after she kept slapping her right face saying that she couldn't see anything although her eyes were wide open.We kept consoling her that its the effect of Valium.

Few days after that, I noticed that she kept staring ahead.Her eyes were vacant and blank.She was like lost into space.I was quite worried.I ask her if she able to see us.She said her vision is blurry.

On Monday, she was brought to hospital.Fa consulted a neurologist that might able to detect her
sickness.She was ok the first two days and after that she had some sort of seizure.Her face was like being pulled to one side and she shouted in pain.One morning while her mom was there it came every 15 mins in the morning.
And the best part, doctors couldn't detect after she had gone through the 3rd MRI.She was admitted to high dependency unit due to the seizures. Finally, a friend of ours came and advices that her sickness was due to the house that they lived in.'Somebody' else's stayed there and wasn't too happy when they moved in.

I didn't really believe in supernatural, although I knew it existed.And as a Muslim we believed that such thing does exist.The 'holy man' advised to keep on reading the Quran hoping that whoever stayed there will go away.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Open up my eyes

Yesterday morning Fa called and ask me to accompany them to Tangerang for WJ's therapy massage.When they came over to pick me up, WJ's was already in the car covered with blankets.Her head still hurts and at that point I'm not sure if she able to handle the journey.From our place to Tangerang is about an hour drive and that is there is no 'machet' (traffic jam).But we finally arrived, Alhamdulillah although she did vomited twice.

He was a Chinese man and from what Fa told me,he is good in getting the spine back in order.
When he lightly touched WJ's toes, she shouted in pain.I felt so sorry for her.I couldn't imagine if it was me ...I would be crying non-stop.WJ was pleading for the man to stop and her face was twitching and her eyes fluttering...Ya Allah...please spare her from this pain..Ya Allah!There is nothing I could do except to motivate and consoled her.I knew she was deeply in pain and her head are burning.

When we came back its already 1 pm.We put her to bed ,changed and feed her.I went back home for a while.KY had already gone for training.Guess, my husband will be eating at the training ground.Did
my Dzuhur prayers and rest for a while thinking what to cook for KY for diner time.Right after my Asar prayers, Dani came and pick me up to WJ's place.Her kids just came back from school and do a bit of monitoring on their homework.Check into WJ's condition and by Maghrib I'm already back home to cook.

Me and KY had dinner while I posted him on WJ's progress and by 9 pm we are already asleep.I held KY, crying softly...things that happen had opened up my eyes.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Keep strong and be strong

Back to Jakarta.

Prof said that I had only 2 follicles and they have to stop the IVF for this round.I was disappointed and sad.I thought that it would be a smooth sailing but it wasn't.Next plan was to give a month rest and continue after my Feb's period.This time would be a different twist.Would be on Gonal F on my 2nd days of menses.

I had to control my tears when Mama asked how it goes at the hospital.I don't want her to feel sad for me and neither anyone else.

So here I am back to home.To see KY again was a bit consoling.At least I don't have to answer everybody back home.KY said that WJ's health is deteriorating.Although she already woken up she still on drips and painkiller.The moment I touchdown Soekarno Airport, went straight to the hospital.The moment she saw me we cried.So sad to see her like this.Her body had shrunk and she couldn't feel her right side of her body.She kept on crying and wanting to go home.KY told me that Fa trying to get her out of the hospital by tomorrow (Saturday).

WJ was discharged the day after.We kept giving her food and she kept throwing up.Because of the pain , her speech became slurred.Ya Allah, make her feel better...Ya Allah! By seeing her in this stage makes you cry, I cant imagine how she feel.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Mum's the word

I had the most amazing Moms in the world.

I am lucky I had 4 moms (including MIL) and 3 dads whom I deeply loved.My real Mom whom I called Mama spoilt me to bits the whole time I'm home.She would fussed over me and make sure that I eat and had enough rest.I LOVE THEM VERY MUCH .Mashallah walhamdulillah.

Tomorrow will be my next appointment at 830 am.I'm due to scan and blood test.I hope that my follicle will have more than 5.The last scan I had,there are no follicles so Prof had to increase the dosage to 375iu.And still have to take Suprefact in the morning.I was joking with Ana the other day that people might mistaken me for a drug addict because of the piercing around my navel.

I was at Mama's house on Friday.
How I wish I was at my own home, nothing beats having your own stuff around you.Saturday morning Mama wanted to eat out for breakfast but was too lazy to go out.Stayed home whole day and watch HBO.Mama & Ayah had dinner appointment that night and only after that we went out for late supper.Sunday morning, we went out for breakfast and to Courts and Ikea after that. I was contemplating to buy the slim PSP ...should I or should I not? I know if I were to ask KY he definitely go against me buying.Cuzzies came around Mama's house late afternoon.We had a blast watching the New Year's video...which I wasn't there when they had the bar-b-q.

Oh! I had a terrible news yesterday ,
KY called to informed that WJ was admitted to hospital and was being given drips.When I came back from Jkt, she was sick..Its her nerve giving her problem again.But its been a week and she still have not recovered.And its been 4 days she didn't eat.She had MRI this morning and still waiting for result.I hope its nothing serious.But I sincerely felt that she should come back Singapore for treatment since her doctor had her medical history here.We can only pray to Allah that she will recover soon.Insya' Allah!

P/S The Clark shoes that I was eyeing? It doesn't have my size!
Went to TM, Orchard and everywhere...they actually don't have it in my size!Now I'm in a look-out for a comfortable walking shoe! No crocs please!

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Yup...still in my country

Still in Singapore.Ya! Have to stay till end Jan.And if everything goes well...insya'allah the OR will be in mid Jan.

Appointment at NUH - to scan and blood test.
Arrived NUH at 745 am and after blood test everything...830 am I was all done.I'm scheduled to return for blood review at 230 in the afternoon.Called Linda if she's in town and apparently she was in the took the train and meet her in Toa Payoh.

Around 11 am CHR Dept said that my blood test show I can proceed to go onto the next step.
And here I am...with only a pair of clothes in my luggage.I didn't expect that I would be staying longer therefore I didn't bring extra clothing's.And that's where the shopping began!

When I came back at 230 pm, my next medication was Gonal F. Have to inject daily for 4 days till my next appointment that is on the 9th Jan (Friday).
The nurse advised me to rest and be stress do I do that?

Sunday, January 4, 2009

When will it ever stop?

Today news Israeli ground troops and tanks push deeper into Gaza.

When will the Israeli stop what they are doing?

Don't you have enough blood that you need the blood from children as well?

STOP what you are doing!!!

Hadith - Sahih al-Bukhari 3.624, Narrated Anas, r.a.Allah's Apostle said, "Help your brother, whether he is an oppressor or he is an oppressed one." People asked, "O Allah's Apostle! It is all right to help him if he is oppressed, but how should we help him if he is an oppressor?" The Prophet said, "By preventing him from oppressing others''.


Ok...everything is packed and ready to go.What's there to packed?

Will on ly be gone for 2 nights!I wonder why Qatar's flight to Sin is so late at night.By the time we landed it will be 2am in the morning! And in few more hours I should be on my way to NUH (appt at 8am).

Sms Linda & Ida this morning, meeting the girls in town probably after my appointment.
Dad ask me to drive to NUH and send mummy to work after that.There is no way I would drive and get myself stuck in the morning traffic!To drive through AYE would be a nightmare especially in the morning.I would rather take the train than to drive.It will be much faster.

I nearly forgot to pack the needles and Suprefact in.
I still have to give myself an injection tomorrow morning.I'm getting quite good at these actually! I was just showing KY how ugly my navel looks now.You are able to see couple of dots around it.Its going to be Maghrib soon.Will leave for the airport soon after.Insya Allah,will be back soon.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Whats wrong with me..

Going back to Singapore tomorrow for my appointment.My period came yesterday and Mummy called NUH whether to still proceed with the injection or stop.Couldn't recalled what the nurse said the other day.If I'm not wrong she said that my period will still come as normal...sigh..I dunno.

I'm just too tired to think.
Mummy and dad just left for a 10days visit here.And it was really hectic.To please Dad and Mummy is not an easy task.Love them to bits but sometimes they can really get into my nerve.They just dont agree with anything!But miraculously I managed...alhamdulillah!

These few days I was feeling quite moody ,weepy and snappy!
Was it the medication (Suprefact) that make me feel this way? Every little things can bring me to tears.Like few days ago I was watching CNN about the Gaza bombing.I was literally bawling soon after that! I dunno....and I nearly pick a fight with KY...partly blaming him (an Arab) ..accusing the Arabs for not intruding! Sigh....

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Its 2009...

How time flies and its already 2009.

Didnt do anything today.Had a terrible migraine and slept the whole afternoon.Woke up feeling fuzzy wuzzy.Could be the empty stomach.

Going back to bed again.