SARS and SWINE and then what?

Before was SARS and now Swine flu?

Today morning the Swine Flu are already on phase 5 out of 6..that means its already at a critical stage.The virus has been spreading worldwide.Although there are no suspected cases yet in Singapore but precautions are already been alerted.

Yesterday was my appointment at NUH.When me and KY arrived,there was long queue at the entrance of the hospital.We were asked to join the queue to take our temperature and to answer some question ...like Do I have a cough? Whether I had just visited Mexico, USA etc....I was pretty sure that when all these procedures are over, it will be long wait at the clinic.KY had to be back at the hotel by noon.(he is in Sin with the team for the match).Half and hour later, we are able to clear the gantry.

Alhamdulillah, when we arrived the clinic, we are the 2nd patients.The rest got held up downstairs.Went to see Prof and he explained how the IVF stages work.Based on the report, I responded well to the current process.Our next IVF will be in June since I have to recuperate for 2 months.I am to see him 2nd day of my June period.Oh well...we will wait.After the appointment, we had lunch and I went home.

That night went to watch the match at Jalan Besar.The boys played well but fumbled in front of the goal post.We lost 1-0 to DPMM.

This morning send KY to Jalan Besar for training.And he will follow the team straight to airport.They will go back Jakarta and straight to Bandung.Will only be back on the 5th.

And now as I was typing, I am waiting for Linda to give me a buzz.

Going to meet the girls for coffee.My flight back to Jakarta will be Saturday.Wanted to stay long but I got class on Sunday.The kids had a 'helluva' time when I was away for a month and now is 'payback' time.

The pain

I know I have not been blogging.I am already back to Jakarta recuperating.My period came on 4th April.I vividly remembered waking up in the morning and went to take a shower and it came.I was confused and sad.

I remembered crying in the shower questioning myself.Did I exhaust myself?Did I eat something?I called KY and told him the bad news.He was just about to board the plane to Papua when I called.He told me not to worry and if its confirm that is my period we can try again.He said no matter what,with or without a child he always love me.After putting down the phone I immediately called CHR hotline.Since it was Sunday,I was asked to go for blood test on Monday morning.I just don't feel like talking to anybody and I don't feel like telling anybody at that time.I just wanted to be alone.

Next day went to the hospital and did my blood test.Deep inside me there is a tiny bit of hope that it was a false alarm.But who am I kidding?

Right before lunch, CHR called and confirm that I am not pregnant.I was devastated! I was in my own house in my room...crying my heart out!Soon after I called Linda to tell her the news.She came soon after and we talked and we cried.I was quite relieved after a good cry.

At time like these its good to have good friends around.I have to be strong and try again.I wont give up.I know Allah had best things in store for us.I know that!

I just need to get away and go back to KY.2 days later I was back in Jakarta to my loving husband.

WJ was in Singapore for treatment.I get to see her when I fetched her at the airport a day before I leave for Jakarta.She was looking good.She had gain a bit of weight but her face was radiant.

Felt so sorry for her because she was counting to spend time with me in Singapore.When she saw me at the airport, she asked me why I'm going back so soon?At that time I couldn't help it as I whispered to her ear and told her that the IVF had failed.Tears started trickling down as she held my hand firmly.I wanted so much to talk to her!And she knew I wanted to.